Story of a friend of a med student

Semalam

Sedih sangat sebab tak dapat bantu kawan ambil darah.

I really want to be a good friend yang tolong, but somehow i am afraid that i might give her some stress instead of helping her.

I am so sad until i took about hours to stop thinking about it and try to redefine what 'good friend' is.

Pastu, apa yang bestnya, pagi ni tiba2 jumpe quote yang terkena, 

The advice is,

"Expect the people you love to be better. It helps them to become better. 

But dont get upset when they fail. It helps them to keep trying."

I hope she will not stop trying.

And will not stop from accepting my help.

Its not that i am already professional in it, 

it just that i know something, and i wanna share it

I just wanna help, 

Helping my friends makes me happy.

And i just hope that i can be a good friend,

Who is always there to help their friend, and to be helped by them.

Life is full of colours.

I want to give extra colours to her life.

So in the next day, she will be happy to see how beautiful her life was.

I love the quote up there.

Tq Allah for the advice 😌

Throwback 

1st posting di temerloh

Share the moments

Share the feelings

Share the lessons

😄

Ini post Cinta:)

be warned.

ini post cinta.lagi panjang dan mungkin bosan

I have a guy that I love and I really wanted to tell him that I love him. But thinking back the consequences which he might be doesn’t love me at all, so I stop. Thinking back that this feeling will be called as ‘unrecruited love’ is hard to be accepted, right? . So then things changed, I tried hard to become a better person, trying the hardest to become as beauty as i can, read more books (putting some efforts to become more intelligent), look up recipes (somehow to become better in cook), and pray more (more solehah after all..ngehs ^^). In hope that one day, when I tell him that I love him, he will never has any reasons to reject but to accept me, because I am perfect enough!

And that I, have really fallen in love to a man

***************************************************

No, these are all fictional but yet somehow quite true.*haha

Seeing others finding their life partners is like you watching cute cats lying on beds. Damn cute.

haih lovey-dovey cat

But then, I’ll ended up having false emotions and little confusions. (nak cakap awak tu nak kawen jugakla tu kan) hehs.no no.That’s not the thing. But yes, marriage and life partners. 

People around this age (like us) will definitely think about this. (kan,,xyah nak tipu yang anda tidak pernah fikirkan nya)*hee

Teringat masa zaman sekolah, I always adored those guys that look kind and good. It was usually called  “budak surau”. Always, sebab bila masuk waktu solat mesti nampak muka-muka tersebut, duduk membaca al-quran dengan baik sekali. Takpun jadi bilal,kene pulak suara merdu (haih^^). These young people yang walaupun muka tak seberapa, tapi songkok/kopiah dikepala serta tertunduknya dia bila berjalan selisih dengan budak perempuan, that character is good enough. Mereka-mereka yang bila pergi bilik guru selalunya akan tolong angkat barang-barang cikgu, dan mereka yang lebih aman membincangkan isu agama dan ilmu berbanding bola dan duniawi. That are mostly the criteria they have and I wish to have my half (my partner) like that.

When he will become my Ali and i will be his Fatimah. Huh

As simple as that?

But this is a sad part

That I am nowhere near to Fatimah to have a man like Ali

I am nowhere to a qualification of a good Muslim

And yet dreamed to have a good muslim in return

*You got a little pricked, right?

But there is nothing wrong for us to change. Right? Because life is all about changes and we should not expect any perfection in any matters especially in us. Even to others. 

Dream is not a fault

Putting effort to become a good muslimah is even more NOT A  FAULT!

It is just a dream

Yet still Allah is The Only One who knows and plans

Always

Tapi, kita selalu bimbangkan satu perkara ni; Niat

What if my intention went wrong that I make changes to myself  is just in order to get a good partner?  

If that really happens:



We should look up again the first hadith in the book of 40 Hadis Imam Nawawi several times, digest them  and always refresh your niat… because you know your ultimate goal.

Your goal is not a man

But Allah

Always

but here is something i've been thinking:

i realized something happened with my relationship to Allah which i can't find my heart in any deeds, in solah, in reciting dua', in all. To the extent of defining "find my heart in ibadah" which ones will feel great tranquility and satisfaction after performing it. 

i am no longer able to feel that.oh sad

so then i've came across a quote saying:

We no longer talk to Him. 

We no longer have tears with our du'a.

We no longer pour things out from our hearts.

Because our hearts has become hardened enough, 

that it no longer seeks Allah s.w.t.

in comparison to what we always feel towards human being,
macam yang saya cerita tadi...we tend to change a lot 
toget the love from the person we adore

why dont we change to be better
because of HIM


 So i got my point. Mungkin kerana saya sudah lama tidak mengadu cerita pada Dia, sudah lama tidak menangis dalam doa. Kerana saya ini asyik  mengadu sakit, melepas gembira pada manusia sekeliling saya saja. Dan oleh itu hati menjadi keras.

"We often mix between what is for Allah's sake 

and what is for our own sake". 

Hence, we need reminders to get us back on the rightful track

-copied-

so, to get back into track, we need to do more and more ibadah, solat sunat, baca quran, sadaqa, and good akhlak in our everyday routine

May Allah bless us. May all our efforts make differences on us, on becoming the good one, for His sake.

May all of us get our hearts back and put our strength to the fullest in keeping and decorating it in this ramadhan which has really comes to its end. But not quite the end. Hopefully to meet ramadhan in the next year too. InsyaAllah wa Ameen (say ameen)

Thanks reading. These are all my thoughts sometimes in the past. Please correct any of my wrong thinking

with love:

Siraj

*post ini kononnya disimpan hanya untuk 'own reading' sebab isinya agak controversial. So, sorry for any cheesy things:) Feel free to comment

Persoalan

Kadang-kadang aku pelik

Kenapa kawan-kawan aku yang tudung bidang 50-60.

Tudung akel lagi

Pandang rendah kat kawan-kawan dia yang tak sama tudung dengan dia.

Tak kisah lah kawan dia tu pakai pashmina ke shawl sekali pun.

Tudung 'indon' sekalipun.

tapi kalau labuh pun dia tak pandang

Dia pandang geng tudung akel je

geng tudung jalur tepi.

Kenapa?

(gambar hiasan)

Kadang-kadang aku pelik

Kenapa kawan-kawan aku tudung akel je yang in charge program keagamaan. 

in charge usrah

in charge kem

in charge pebenda dekat surau

bagi-bagi group apa-apa pun

ketuanya masih tudung akel

orang yang sama

pusing-pusing orang yang sama

siap ada gelaran pejuang Islam lagi

aku pelik

kadang-kadang aku pelik

sampai aku dengar sendiri apa yang jadi

si A, tudung 50-60. cari orang nak baca doa utk satu majlis. Dia paksa B. B orang yang kerap in charge

tapi B tak nak.

Lalu muncullah C, seorang yang bertudung 40, menawarkan diri nak baca doa sebab si B tak nak

tapi apa A buat??

A buat tak tau

si D ada di tempat kejadian

D tolong sampaikan hasrat C utk baca doa kepada A

A buat apa??

A masih buat tak tau tak dengar

aku pelik

apa yang A ni nak? Paksa si B yang tudung 50-60 tapi tak nak baca doa?

menolak C yang tudung 40 yang nak baca doa?

A lupakah C pun sekolah agama?

A lupakan C pun islam. tau baca doa.

A lupakah C pun solat juga

aku pelik

sampaikan aku fikir.

biarlah. A yang berdosa. kerana dia judge orang lain

tapi aku tak boleh terima apa dia buat

kenapa????

Apa usrah dia ajar?

Apa sekolah dia ajar???

Apa kem2 yang dia pergi ajar????

Kenapa dia berfikiran macam tu??????????

kenapa???????????????????????????????????????????

Kenapa tak beri peluang?

butakah matamu memandang sahabat-sahabatmu sahaja pergi ke program keagamaan??

kamu tak nampak ke kawan-kawanmu yang lain pun pergi, join KBS and so on???

Kamu je join program kat masjid Saadah? Masjid Al Azim?

Kamu si tudung 50-60 je pergi join seminar??

Ada sorang tu, pakai shawl. selalu je aku tengok dia join KBS, seminar. Rajin nak mati. Tapi tak pernah pulak orang suruh dia jadi PIC apa-apa majlis keagamaan

kenapa tak beri peluang kepada kawan-kawan lain??

pahala kamu banyak dari dia?

Kamu masuk syurga. Dia masuk lambat skit pasal tudung dia 40.

Macam tu kah???

oh USIMIANS

stop judging

kadang aku pelik. Fahaman mana mereka pakai

sehingga mereka rasa mereka superperfect! Baiklah tu sampai pandang rendah.




Dan dah tentu sekarang aku pulak yang judging



habis apa aku nak buat?



aku pun bingung juga. Aku nak tegur dia tapi aku tau aku siapa. aku bukan siapa-siapa


aku nak ignore. tpi sampai bila benda ni aku nak hadap kat usim ni??



kadang aku fikir. memang patutlah Allah campak kau kat usim. sesama kawan pun dah judging. Kalau Allah campak kau kat uni yg budak freehair budak tudung tak tutup dada budak legging semua agak-agak kau macam mana?




see... you aren't perfect. me too. we all .





 jadi apa aku boleh buat??


aku lagi lah tudung biasa je

mesti bingung lebih




should I judge you as you judge my friend?






takpelah aku sedar diriku

May God bless us. 

May Allah forgives me. and you.

p/s : takde kena mengena pun ahli tautan hati dengan cerita ini. sekadar luahan dari aku yang sedang pelik

sweet

Salam semua..

Ingat tak isu penggunaan Allah itu sweet?

Ada stu pendapat mengatakan tak boleh sebab menyamakan sifat Allah dgn sifat manusia. Mcm kita belajar tauhid dulu

Tapi khabarnya banyak pendapat ckp boleh guna. Sebab maksud sweet tu sama je dgn maksud nama2 Allah yang lain dlm bahasa melayu..

Jadi boleh guna..

Tp.. tambahlah maha di depan..

Contoh..

Ayah saya penyayang.ayah saya bijaksana. Ayah saya adil

Allah maha penyayang.  Allah maha bijaksana. Allah maha adil

Ayah saya sweet

Allah maha sweet